Many human behaviors are complexly motivated, and sexual preference certainly falls into this category. It’s very hard to produce a universal answer to why men, in general, are attracted to BDSM and which men tend to gravitate towards such sexual practices.
This analysis is complicated even further by the fact that BDSM dating encompasses a very broad class of activities, so the reasons may vary from one group of men to another. For this reason, it’s a smart idea to talk about motivation with potential partners since people who have compatible mindsets can make for a successful BDSM couple.
That way, you can discover a specific combination of factors that drive a person into this lifestyle and also get to know that person much better in the process.
What men enjoy when they are dominant
In BDSM dating, one person typically assumes the dominant role and acts as the leading partner, directing the course of sexual games and sometimes inflicting pain or humiliation upon the other.
Being dominant provides men with a chance to express their hidden urges and act out some rather brutal scenarios with willing partners, thus uniquely appealing to their inner masculinity. On the other hand, the dominant role also includes ‘ownership’ and protection of a partner, so it plays into some possessive fantasies that are common among men.
Finally, some men can only be sexually aroused in situations that involve the forceful assertion of their will, and they naturally gravitate towards dominant roles in BDSM dating. For some men, domination is the most important element, while for others, it can be just an extra flavor, so the level of dedication to the leading role in a relationship may vary as well.
What men enjoy when they are submissive?
It would be a huge mistake to assume that men are always or even mostly dominant in BDSM dating – in reality, they are just as likely to enjoy being submissive. This is true for straight or gay men alike, and in fact, some of them will accept a dominant person of any gender.
Some very confident and successful men are sexually submissive, deriving extreme pleasure from this role reversal compared to their normal lives. The feelings of helplessness and dependence that are typical for the submissive side of a BDSM couple present a chance to get away from responsibility and experience something completely different.
Femdom relationships between dominant women and submissive men are quite common, where subservience to a strict mistress is the central theme. The links between the male psyche and sexual submission are very delicate, and in some individuals, may run very deep.
What fetishes are the most popular among males?
Fetishes are common among people of both genders and all sexual orientations, although some of them are a bit more common among males. For example, submissive men are highly likely to engage in foot worship or shoe fetish, and some of them enjoy small penis humiliation above anything else.
On the other side of the spectrum, dominant men frequently enjoy rough facials and maybe especially fond of anal penetration. Many men enjoy wearing sexy outfits and using sex toys, while BDSM dating couples sometimes practice sex in public other words, no matter which fetishes may be your favorites, it won’t be hard to find plenty of men on the dating scene who would be delighted to help you turn them into reality.
Are men who enjoy BDSM violence in real life?
According to all relevant research and anecdotal evidence, there are no links between violent behavior and attraction to BDSM practices. It’s true that some violent men could use the BDSM scene as a cover for their pathological activities, but they can be spotted quite easily since they tend to break some of the basic rules of this subculture from the start.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that a vast majority of men who like BDSM would never hit a woman who hasn’t consented to it wholeheartedly and who doesn’t clearly enjoy it. Despite some media portrayals, BDSM couples can actually lead quite normal lives outside of the bedroom (or dungeon, in some cases).