When exploring the idea of BDSM dating, you will often be presented with so many questions and confusions. If you are a newbie to the exciting world of power play, you will have to take your time to decide whether you want to be a dominant player or you are okay being a submissive. Sexual submission can be awesome if you could find a partner to explore it properly. With the right partner, you can take your power play to a whole new level.
In BDSM dating, the “S” refers to “Submission” and is an act that usually happens in a kinky context when one partner takes on a dominant role, and the other one does the opposite and becomes submissive. While mainstream media may make you think that sexual submission has no boundaries, it is not true. In reality, it is far more collaborative, consensual, fun, and sexy.
It is important to follow a few tips to learn how to enjoy sexual submission to the full. For instance:
- Take your time and work hard to pick a good, well-mannered dominant. Go wrong here, and you will regret your decision to embark upon a submissive lifestyle. Understand that no one should force you to switch roles. You should always go willingly, and picking your dominant carefully will make a difference.
- Define your limits before taking the plunge. Never dive into the world of BDSM dating and try something unusual if you have not already set your limitations. Knowing about your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual limitations beforehand is important. Once clear, share them with your dominant and get their feedback.
- Always be upfront about your limitations because, ultimately, they will make or break your new relationship as a submissive.
- Make use of roleplaying to enjoy sexual submission. For those new to submission, nothing works better than using roleplay. It works great to ease any awkwardness you may feel in the beginning. This way, you can work on developing your own submissive identity and say things with more confidence. Some good options include sergeant and private, king and queen, and student and teacher.
- Think carefully before turning to bondage. You may want to try it once you have a developed some level of trust between you and your partner. Remember, bondage is a serious way to play around with control. Your dominant partner will have full control when you get yourself all tied up or restrained. If you are still new to submission, avoid bondage until you feel comfortable. If you want to give it a go, pick better tools and restraint systems that come with Velcro straps. This way, you can undo those straps quickly if you are not feeling comfortable with how things are moving.
- Use the power of words to add more excitement to the act. By learning to say the right things, you can easily make the power play a lot more fun. As a submissive partner, you can address your dominant partner as “Master,” “Sir,” or “Mistress.” Make use of “Thank You” and “Please” to show submissive behavior. Speaking differentially will also help set the tone and make it more exciting and somewhat real.
- Keep asking for permission for everything you do. It is one good way to emphasize your servitude. Pleading your dominant partner to kiss or touch you is another good idea. Define certain things that are off-limit unless your partner explicitly allows you to make a move. For instance, do not touch yourself until your partner gives you the go-ahead.
- Make your partner punish you. Of course, you need to set the limits first, but getting punished is the ultimate way to experience true submission in BDSM dating. If you are with an experienced Domme, they may already know when and how to punish you for your infractions. Spanking is usually the first option to try. By doing it properly, your partner can create real power dynamics. Again, always go slow and start with less intense punishments.
- Invest in bringing in better gear into the play. It helps to make your sessions more exciting and, at the same time, emphasizes your submissive behavior. You can try cuffs, blindfolds, ball gags, nipple clamps, paddles, whips, and spreader bars. If you are willing to spend more money, you may want to get the right costumes to complement your roleplays.
- Stay away from jealousy. Know that your dominant/submissive relationship won’t thrive if you do nothing to stay away from the outward expressions of jealousy. Sometimes, your dominant may want to have multiple submissive partners. You have to live with it so long that their relationship with others does not hamper your relationship quality. If it is something you cannot tolerate, share it with your partner before you commit to one another.
Overall, it does not have to be very tricky to learn how to be submissive in BDSM dating, but you need to keep trying and be open to new experiences. Do not bend over backward to be perfect. In fact, your relationship will thrive and be more exciting when you become a bit bratty from time to time. So, relax and keep experimenting!