BDSM dating can be fun, and finding a like-minded partner has become a tad easier with new dating sites becoming available. When trying BDSM dating, you will have to choose the role you need to play.
Contrary to popular belief, you really do not need much experience or money to lean into your dominant side. In reality, there are various ways to be dominant and enjoy power-play in a consensual, affordable, safe, and satisfying way.
You just need to pay attention to certain things and follow a few tips to make it work even if you are just a “Starter-Domme.”
How to be Dominant in Your Romantic Relationship
Whether you have just embraced BDSM and learning the ropes yet or practicing it for a while now, you can always learn how to be dominant to spice things up in a better way. For instance:
- Do not make a hasty decision. If you have played a different role in a relationship, take your time to decide what makes you think it is time to shift gears. You may have some insecurity, or your self-esteem may not be at its very best. You can find these answers and resolve these issues by looking within, and then you can try to dominate a woman.
- Be open about your desires to make BDSM more interesting. You are never going to have fun dominating a woman during sex if you have not talked to her before trying anything out of the ordinary.
- Work with your partner first and seek her approval. Knowing what she is and is not comfortable with can make a huge difference to where you end up during and after your dominating sex session. If you are looking for some rough sex, tell her first. She may be okay with the idea of playing a submissive role, but she may only be interested in trying the gentle version of domination. Clarify everything to avoid overstepping during the act.
- Do not put pressure on yourself, or performance anxiety would take the excitement out of the picture. Ideally, you should proceed slowly and take your first “play date” as more of an exercise to build trust between you and your partner. There is no need to push yourself to be the best Dominant out there – do not expect it to happen right out the gate, at least. Similarly, trying extra hard to make your partner orgasm could make everything fall apart. If you take it as an exercise, you will be able to work with your partner to unearth your true domination style. Your submissive partner will also feel at ease and improve their ability to know what submissive style works best without feeling intimidated. It could start with a simple dinner date with role play to select your roles and let things move in a flow.
- Avoid being dominant all the time. It is important, at least in the beginning, while you two are still exploring more about BDSM dating. Never assume that just because your partner has agreed to play submissive during sex, you can stick to that role forever. In fact, it is better to switch things up occasionally to make the dominant sex more endearing and improve the sexual chemistry as well.
- Stick to gentle dominance for as long as your partner desires. One big mistake is to become too engrossed in behaving like a true dominant a little too soon. Be gentle and give your partner time to embrace new experiences and adjust accordingly. Never go overboard with dirty talk, biting, hair pulling, manhandling, and binding. Start with gentle dominance and then gradually add more aggression to make it work.
- Master the art of spanking. You cannot hope to dominate the sex game if you do not know how to spank your partner without losing your endurance. Interestingly, there is no need to start with a riding crop, a paddle, or any other tool to make power play more satisfying. Trust your instincts all the time, and it will help you be a powerful top. For better spanking, cup your hand slightly and do not use much force in the beginning to avoid feeling tired through the repetitive skin-on-skin smacking. Similarly, hitting your submissive with the meaty part of your palm is the better way to do it. Once you master it and your submissive partner has improved her pain threshold, you can then introduce some extra toys to the act.
- Talk to your partner, and then make a shift towards aggressive dominance. If you and your partner are on the same page, it is easy to try full dominant sex. It is the time when you can try choking, gagging, binding, and poking. Adding some degradation to the mix may also make it work. Still, keep ensuring that your partner is comfortable during the act even though they initially showed their consent. Considering what your partner likes and is comfortable with will always help you be the best Domme out there.