Even though the Noel Fifty Shades of Grey has helped bring BDSM to public discourse, the idea of dominance and submission, restraint, and role-play is not new. It has been part of religious rituals in ancient Sparta and was referenced in Petronius’s Satyricon as well. Using some form of physical anguish has been part of many antique faith systems, such as adolescent rites of passage, passion plays, and so on.
Today, you can find many people practicing it and mainstream media being vocal about it. Even the New York Times has published numerous articles on BDSM, and there is a clear turn towards kinks in Cosmo’s sex tips. Interestingly, you can now find Harvard University hosting events for undergraduates interested in consensual BDSM. Even after getting so much coverage, many people think that those who try BDSM dating or practice it have major psychological issues.
In reality, sexual pleasure and desire are extremely complicated. For the most part, sexual satisfaction can be deeply personal and often quite diverse, and that is what makes it beautiful. You have the right to decide what turns you on and works for you sexually. Of course, there needs to be consent, and you should know how to play it safe. When you take precautionary measures, BDSM can be exciting because you get to practice what you love the most and that too without being apologetic about it.
That being said, so many health professionals still tend to take BDSM as pathological and sometimes perverted. Things have certainly improved over the years, but there is still a social stigma attached to BDSM dating. Many people think that BDSM practitioners are psychologically anxious and often maladjusted. They think that those people are reenacting the same sexual abuse they may have witnessed in the past. Sometimes, it is thought that those people are trying to compensate for their sexual difficulties through the BDSM lifestyle.
However, the latest research has helped find some answers to unfold more about BDSM psychology. The evidence now suggests that not all those assumptions made about BDSM are true. Experts have found that people who participate in power play are not more distressed or show more sexual difficulties than people who have never tried it ever. Actually, you have to pay attention to what makes people enjoy pain during the act to learn more about BDSM psychology. It could be due to many factors. For instance:
If you like pain during the sexual act, it could be because of your brain chemistry. Pain triggers the release of endorphins and other hormones, which are the same hormones released during sexual pleasure. Neurologically, there is no huge difference between pain and pleasure because receptors for both can react similarly, promoting serotonin and melatonin release. But, the reaction may not be the same for everyone, and it may be one of many reasons why not everyone is a fan of BDSM dating or pain during sex play.
Some people are into BDSM because they claim that pain increases pleasure by increasing sensation. Not everyone gets attracted to BDSM for physical reasons; some may like it purely for mental reasons. They find pain tantalizing, which is understandable because the impact can increase blood flow to the skin and make it a lot more receptive and sensitive to touch.
Those who turn to kink or BDSM dating do so because they find it psychologically healing. They derived pleasure from the pain they encounter during the act, and it heals them psychologically because they overcome the pain from the past by replacing it with a “new” type of pain, which is “good pain” in so many ways. But, ultimately, it comes down to your ability to differentiate between the both.
The fact of the matter is that though more research is needed to conclude BDSM psychology, many experts now believe that individuals who practice BDSM dating are not psychologically deranged. In fact, those who adopt dominant sexual roles often experience lower levels of attachment anxiety and neuroticism. But eventually, it comes down to how and where you draw the line because knowing what you or your partner is comfortable doing is all that matters. Cross that line and it will quickly become an unacceptable and unhealthy behavior.