Go back to Weimar Germany or explore the old Spartan reign; you will find that kink always had a place in our sexuality. The roots of BDSM culture are deep with the presence of dominance and submission, restraint and power-play in much of recorded history. Interestingly, it has been part of both erotic and no-erotic practices across different cultures.
You can find it even in some of humanity’s earliest texts. Experts have found flagellation as part of religious ritual in ancient Sparta. Similarly, there has been evidence of physical aggression in sexual acts in the 6th-century BCE.
Experts have found that consenting to controlled or restrictive experiences has helped people find significant emotional relief and live a stress-free life. So many texts and art forms from ancient Greece and Rome confirm it. The revered Sanskrit text, The Kama Sutra, which was written about 2,000 years ago, has separate chapters on “Biting,” “Scratching,” and “Reversing Roles.”
A French aristocrat, the Marquis de Sade penned various erotic novels as well as short stories based on the idea of being beaten or beating others for sexual gratification. The term “Sadism” actually came from his work. Similarly, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, an Australian author, penned a novel in 1870 based on a dominant-submissive relationship. The novel helped coined the term “masochism,” which is now part of the BDSM lifestyle.
BDSM appeared in the Western world in the 1940s, especially after Page’s erotic photos with bondage elements gaining traction. During that time, so many magazines followed suit and came up with fetish-oriented content. People became interested after watching pin-up girls and posters, which laid the foundation of underground leather culture in major cities.
However, the BDSM lifestyle noticed a real shift in popularity in the 1980s and 90s. It was the time when musical artists brought it into the mainstream. The most notable names were the Eurythmics and Madonna, but many others employed fetish themes and imagery in their works.
So many studies are there to show people’s interest in BDSM. In fact, a Kinsley Institute study performed in 1953 showed that 50% of men and 55% of women felt sexually aroused by being bitten. A survey conducted by Durex Global in 2005 showed that 36% of Americans used blindfolds, masks, and other forms of bondage during sexual acts.
What it all implies that BDSM dating is popular for so many reasons, and the biggest being an outlet to get rid of pent-up energy by giving in to physical anguish. However, many myths have been associated with BDSM dating throughout history. For instance:
- Many people think that BDSM always involves sex, but that is not true. It may be the case for some people, but a large majority of BDSM practitioners draw a line between the two. BDSM and sex are two different things, though both are intense and sensual bodily experiences. While a rubdown will usually lead to sex for some people, it may be different for others. Ultimately, it comes down to your own personal and sexual preference.
- Many people are of the view that those who practice BDSM are mentally challenged. It is certainly not the case, and the truth is that there nothing inherently damaged with people who try this lifestyle. BDSM does not emerge from domestic violence or abuse. Similarly, engaging in BDSM does not mean you enjoy abusing in any way or form. If you enjoy this lifestyle, it is just one of many facets of your sexuality. Those who practice it are regular people, and you often cannot notice them around you.
- Unlike what people often think, BDSM has never been about whips and chains all the time. In fact, you can practice this lifestyle even if you believe whips and chains are not your things. Even BDSM history shows and confirms it. Again, it is just your personal preference. Some BDSM enthusiasts want these tools in their arsenal; others have never tried it because it is not their cup of kink. For those, “sensual dominance” is the way to do it. There may be some toys involved in this type of play, but there is no pain present in any form. It implies that BDSM does not make you follow a strict pattern, and you can experiment so long as your partner shows consent.
It all implies that the fetish community has evolved over the decades, and now people do not shy away from talking about it openly. But, it is also true that so many things that do not belong to BDSM have also made their way to this lifestyle; so ultimately, it is up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with and what is not your cup of tea while trying BDSM dating.